We’ve all heard the saying, “I am in competition with no-one.” But what does this mean?
As soon as we step out our door we are confronted with the neighbour’s shiny new car, or exquisite garden. Turn on the television and we are reminded that we should be slimmer, younger, intelligent, fit, and healthy. At the same time this can all be achieved with a regular diet of KFC, McDonald's, or Hungry Jacks. Let’s not forget the chocolate, alcohol, and soft drinks. Why not buy the latest Mercedes? We also need the latest TV. Talk about confusing!
These competing messages can feel like a hurricane of ideas all attacking our psyche at the same time. What are these messages saying to us? The way I see it, we are told that if we get the latest, best, most of an item, or drink, eat, purchase it, we will have it all. This magical item will make us just like our neighbour, or even better.
But what will these items give me? Will they enhance my life? Will I be happier with them?”
I think the answer to these questions has nothing to do with the items themselves, which is what the advertisers would have us believe. Advertising takes advantage of our deepest need, to be accepted. We believe we must fit in with the crowd. We must compete with one another to maintain our place or find a better place in society.
Since leaving my job and starting a new lifestyle, I have often pondered the phrase, “I am in competition with no-one.” You see, I have the same yearnings as you. We are all the same. Every one of us suffers from the fear of not being accepted.
What I have found is that my real need is to accept myself, and this is a one-man game. I have released the deluded belief that I need something outside of myself to be okay and embraced the idea that I am okay just as I am.
How do we achieve self-acceptance? The first step is to stop the competing ideas, to cease the pressure to compete, to achieve, to fit in. Because all these ideas have come from others who have not found their internal sweet spot in life, their happy place.
Weight loss, face lifts, surgeries, diets, all of these in themselves are not the answer to self-acceptance. In fact, we need some self-acceptance in the first place to lose weight and live a healthy life. The competing voices need to be silence so we can find the real “me”, not what we think we should be.
My advice is, quieten the loudest voices as best you can. Find a quiet place and notice who you are. This is where your journey begins. My guess is you will discover that all you need is yourself. I’m sure you will find you have missed that person.
Message me if you want to chat.
In love, Jenny
