It’s nearly Christmas and as we do our last-minute assembling and wrapping of gifts, I wonder about our motivation behind giving.
Recently my own motivation came to my attention. A friend’s birthday is a few days before Christmas. For months beforehand I had thought about what to get her, but nothing came to mind. Finally, the week before her birthday I came up with an idea. I searched online, phoned local stores and asked my friends but could not find what I sought. In the end I shopped locally for some items for her kitchen. This had been an ordeal for me.
Originally, I had thought to make her a carrot cake which is her favourite, but figured this was not enough. I decided make the cake, anyway and put my mind to work thinking about how I could make a healthy version her birthday. After some research, I made two versions: one from a recipe I found on the internet and another from an adaption of my banana, hazelnut and walnut bread. Both recipes were made from hazelnut meal, coconut yoghurt, spices and walnuts with a small amount of maple syrup for sweetening.
As I handed her the heavy cakes, I told her the story behind them. I wanted something she could eat for sustenance, something to keep her going during her busy day. And I knew she loved carrot cake. This meant she could enjoy eating the cake without compromising her healthy diet. Perhaps it could be an occasional alternative to a nut bar purchased at a supermarket.
Her face told me everything I needed. What I had done and the thought behind it meant more than anything I could buy. In hindsight, I had wasted my effort and energy trying to find an expensive gift. All she wanted was something from my heart.
True friends don’t want anything expensive or elaborate. They want something from the heart. I learned early in life to earn my parents’ love by doing things for them. In the same way as an adult, I gave to others in the hope that they would love me more and reciprocate the giving.
So now I have learned a new thing, to give from the heart alone. It is enough. I am enough and you are enough. This Christmas, I hope you have given from your heart, for it is enough.
Have a wonderful Christmas. You are very loved at your deepest part.
In love, Jenny.