Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, a day where we give a gift or greeting to our beloved. But, for many of us this is just another day where we grieve the loss of a loved one or perhaps we feel we have never been loved.
My parent’s relationship was not a happy one and, I cannot remember dad giving mum a present at any stage in my childhood. By the time I came along, there was little or no romance in their relationship. Mum carried such a lot of anger toward him that nothing could be further from her mind. She said more than once to me in an angry tone, “There is no romance in marriage. You just get on with one another.” This was my first experience of adult-to-adult love.
Because I am not in a romantic relationship, the day passes by just like any other. But do we need to be in a romantic relationship to be loved? Sadly, our society pressures us to find that special someone to be with for the rest of our lives. And, as a woman I have been taught that my worth should be found in a man and if I want to be loved I must be partnered to one.
Instead of a romantic relationship, my closest friends have given me a most beautiful and powerful love. What is love anyway? Is it simply having someone with whom we share physical intimacy? Should we stay with a partner who is abusive just fit society’s expectations?
We can only receive love in as much as we accept it for ourselves, and this acceptance requires that we accept ourselves first. My experience is that love starts within. The moment I learned to accept myself, true love enveloped my soul. It was not romantic, but it certainly was and still is fulfilling. You see, I have found true love is not only about physical satisfaction. It fulfils my emotional and psychological needs and not necessarily my sexual needs.
If you find yourself without a special person this Valentine’s Day, remember you are not alone. There are many more just like us, and at the inner core of our being there is always love. It’s up to us to accept the love which is ours to enjoy.
Message me if you want a chat.
In love, Jenny
