Where does your power lie?

For a long time, I was afraid of having personal power. I had confused it with the control, or dominance of others. As a child, my father intimidated me; hence I associated power with coercion and fear.

But as I matured my understanding changed. Now I see it as a personal need. You see, we all need to feel we have power in our life. I spent my early years thinking I was a victim to my circumstances, one with no power over the way I was treated.

There is a difference between personal power and social power. Social power is the ability to dominate or control the behaviour of others. Personal power on the other hand, is about autonomy, it is the freedom from the dominance of others, and it comes from within.

Over the years, my personal power has been threatened many times. Each time I fell back into a victim mentality, believing I had lost what mattered to me and was at the mercy of others. Looking back, I can see I had a misguided understanding of where true power lies.

As a child until my early 20s, my sense of power came from mum. As she deteriorated, I fell apart. After picking myself up, my religious beliefs gave me a sense of power. But, when my understanding of faith was questioned, I slipped back into the pit of self-despair. Next was my closest friend, who I leaned on for security. When that was threatened, I used my intelligence; but there was always someone trying to out smart me. Finally, my personal integrity was attacked. This was shaken by others who found fault in me.

Over time, I recognised that I did have personal power, but my trust was in the wrong source. As I got to know myself and experienced true love, my perception of power changed, and it became a necessary part of my well-being. It was something I experienced through love. Because a true sense of self-confidence, self-esteem, self-autonomy, of peace and security can only be found in the knowledge that we are loved.

Loved, not by a single person, but in an awareness of the love which surrounds us all and enables us to see the good in all.

Message me if you want to chat.

In love, Jenny

For more information of personal power: https://www.amycuddy.com/

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