Over the last few days, I have been thinning out the violets in my garden. I first planted them thinking they could not go wild given the composition of my soil. The block was originally part of a site owned by SA Water who had covered it with gravel. It was subdivided and sold to a local builder who added builder’s grit to the mix and covered that layer with bark chips.
When I purchased the house, I decided to create a cottage garden. It took great effort to get through the solid layer, so I used a pick to do it. Over the last 25 years I have managed to break the layer up, but small stones still form part of the soil. I planted the violets when I first started to garden, and I figured they couldn’t possibly take hold. How wrong I was! So now, each year I either employ someone to thin them out or I do it myself.
Even though my back is sore, and I am fatigued, it is worth the effort. Being in the garden brings me joy. I feel free to be me. Now my green waste bin is full and ready to be taken next week. I am left with a real sense of satisfaction, albeit only for a few months. By then the violets will have begun to grow back. But at least there will be less of them until next year.
Dreamy usually strolls outside to check on me when I am in the garden, whines, then turns his head so his pointy nose is directed toward the back entrance of the house. He wants me to go inside with him. Instead, on Sunday when I started, he spent the afternoon laying on my bed asleep. Monday and this afternoon (Wednesday) he was at a friend’s place (his Uncle John). There he slept on his couch for the entire time. Uncle John tells me that he didn’t move, except to check outside once, but came back in quickly when he felt the heat. Ah, the life of a greyhound!
Here I am this afternoon with a satisfied look on my face. Below is a picture of the work in progress.
In love, Jenny
Each week Dreamy and I visit a couple of aged care facilities where Dreamy is a Caring Canine Companion. Over time he has developed bonds with many of the residents. One of the facilities bakes fresh sausage rolls on the day we visit. Dreamy loves sausage rolls, and the residents usually don’t disappoint him. Most times he will get two each visit; his best has been six sausage rolls.
Dreamy has taken to one of the residents, a 93-year-old gentleman, who adores dogs. They have developed a bond since we started visiting. When we enter the facility, Dreamy makes a beeline to his room where they excitedly greet each other. The elderly gentleman sits at the end of his bed so they can be close. Dreamy lays on the floor directly in front, often on his foot. Over the next half to an hour they will cuddle, hold hand, and paw, and love each other. If Dreamy’s paw is not held, he will wave it around and yelp to let him know that he wants it held again. The resident will spend most of the time patting, or cuddling Dreamy who complains if he stops.
On a recent visit we arrived late, about half an hour before lunch. At the end of the visit Dreamy’s favourite resident said he wanted to take his lead. He used his walker to lead Dreamy from his room to lunch where the other residents were waiting. I walked behind watching as Dreamy gently walked beside him, tail wagging in joy. The other residents applauded as they neared the table.
Although he is large, Dreamy is very gentle and calm, and he loves being cuddled. Hence, he can get very close to the residents for a long time. He does not jump, nor steal food. It means the residents can enjoy his close company without fear of bruising or being knocked off balance.
It is a great joy to do this and heart-warming to witness the bond between residents and my boy. Sharing love is my mission in life. Dreamy happens to be a great conduit for love. Dogs have a way of showing it in a non-threatening way.
In love, Jenny
It is a beautiful sunny spring weekend here where I live. Dreamy and I walked local walking tracks around the Blue Lake and the Leg of Mutton, both volcanic in nature. Spring was in magnificent expression through the bird life, grasses, and flowers everywhere we walked.
The older I get the more I appreciate the simple things. Instead of the pressure of the world around me, I choose to spend it in nature where there is no imminent pressure. Perhaps I’m tired, or perhaps I am finally appreciating the slow undercurrent of peace that lies within us all.
I know even recently I have fallen for the pressure I feel in my work and those around me. I am speaking here of the pressure to achieve, perform and compete. Somehow it tweaks my insecurities, and I am back on the treadmill of life.
But there is a slower life, one which demands nothing of us but to stop and listen. It is here where we find ourselves, and peace. Instead of listening to the voices of pressure, listen to the gentleness of nature. Within every tree and plant there is a freshness, a sweetness of presence. If we listen to this presence, we become more at peace.
It is not always easy to stop and listen; one must make a determined effort. I find nature to be the best antidote to the stresses of life. The rhythm of walking is my way of expressing my frustrated thoughts without hurting others. This rhythm relaxes me and as I express my feelings through each step I slowly wind down and notice my surroundings. It is peaceful in this place.
Nature is another world to me, one to which my body, rather than my mind, is attuned. Slowed down, I can hear my body and feel its peace with nature. There is no fight within me, simply a flow with the world around me.
Perhaps you need to wind down. Walking is my way out of my mind. Do you have a way to peace? Some find meditation, others find prayer or music helpful. Either way, it is where we find love.
In love, Jenny
Walking is a vital part of my health regime. When I first started my health journey 30 years ago, it was the one thing I could maintain. I circled the lake where I live almost every day, and as I did my weight started falling away. At the time I weighed over 200kg, but I was desperate, so I walked.
It wasn’t an easy start. I suffered with swollen ankles, sore and numb feet which had blistered. Often, I was often utterly exhausted. It was tough, but for some reason I persisted. Over time I learned to enjoy walking. As my muscles strengthened it became easier. Most of all, I knew that I was improving my health. Through it all, walking has been my mainstay. Although I could not always keep on top of my unhealthy eating habits, or stressful thoughts, I could always walk.
My experience has been both liberating and fulfilling, so I wanted to share it others. I put an invitation out to the locals through Facebook and word of mouth. On the first walk two people joined me. I was relieved that anyone turned up that first day. It was good to see familiar faces as I stepped out to share my joy. Over time the numbers have increase and it has evolved into a warm and caring community of over 20 people. As most of us are dog lovers, there can be up to eleven dogs in a walk. We meet at a dog friendly local café for a coffee afterwards.
The relationships have strengthened since the group began over a year ago. Although my intention was to share my love of walking, it has also become a safe place for many of us. We look forward to meeting each week and it has become a valued way of connecting. Now I have started another group. I hope I can share this love of walking and relating with more people.
Connecting with others is another important part of well-being. We need community. We need to belong. How do you connect with others?
In love, Jenny
Last week I wrote about my plans for Dreamy’s upcoming birthday. The little party turned out well. Seven dogs celebrated with him, along with ten people. His cake was made of ten stacked party sausage rolls and one party pie with a number 9 in the middle. Each dog took home a bag of goodies. After eating the cake, some of the dogs got a puppachino. It was a fun time for all the dog lovers who attended.
Dreamy has taught me how to be true to myself. As I said last week, I have showered him with my pent-up maternal love, and he has accepted it, returning it with his own. This has been profoundly healing. My relationship with Dreamy as been instinctual, or intuitive, whereas human relationships are often based on performance rather than authenticity.
There is something about loving an animal; there is an honesty that humans cannot replicate. We tend to suffer from insecurities which animals lack. We fear being misunderstood or judged for our actions and hide our true selves for protection. Animals have none of these fears.
Over the past few days, I have noticed another wall crumbling within myself. In a world which is afraid of love and confuses it with sexuality, Dreamy’s acceptance of my love has freed me to be true to myself, and a deeper self-love on my part has been the result. It is safe with him; he does not judge me, but lives in the moment and receives what I give him.
For me, there is a lesson in this. It is a lesson to not take people so seriously. As humans, we struggle to accept ourselves, much less others. We allow people into our lives as far as we feel safe. We are easily influenced by cultural pressure, and this gets between us.
To love openly in this world is not easy. My motivation has often been misinterpreted. More than once I have been accused of being too friendly with a person of either gender. Now I understand that there is no need for other humans to fully accept my love. It is more important that I accept it myself.
If you have not experienced the love of a pet, I encourage you to do so.
In love, Jenny
Tomorrow is Dreamy’s 9th birthday, and I am organising a party for him. I’m not sure how many more we can celebrate together given his age, so I’ve decided we’ll get together with his other doggy friends and parents.
To some, my love for him may seem over the top, but as I did not have children of my own Dreamy gets a lot from me. When I adopted him, it was natural for me to nurture him. At 55, my pent-up unexpressed maternal instincts were strong. Poor Dreamy has been the recipient of every unexpressed motherly feeling in my body. I’ve had birds and fish, but there is something about a big, furry, warm, soft, and cuddly dog that has made a real difference to my life.
Thankfully, he responds to my love. Not only is he warm and furry, but he also loves to cuddle. Just his afternoon as he was cuddling into my side, I embraced him gently around his neck, and he responded by chattering. Chattering is what greyhounds do when they are happy; they quickly knock their teeth together in delight. Sometimes this is audible, but when Dreamy chatters he does so quietly. To the untrained eye the vibration of his jaw may seem like anxiety, but I know it is happiness.
So far, I have made a batch of peanut butter doggy biscuits for the doggy party tomorrow. Given his enjoyment of sausage rolls when we visit the local aged care facility, I think I will buy a cold batch, pile them up and place a candle on top for his cake. I’m leaving the human attendees to fend for themselves!
What can I say? Perhaps I’m a little bit crazy, but this crazy feels awfully good to me. It brings me joy and it is a great expression of the love I feel.
What is your crazy thing to do? What makes you happy?
In love, Jenny
People often say to me, “You must feel so much better for having lost so much weight.” The expectation is that I will tell them that losing weight has made my life significantly happier.
Has it made me happier? The short answer is “no”. I have worked hard to sort through my distorted beliefs to find the love and joy I now experience. How I saw my life perpetuated the misery I lived in and my increase in weight. My weight loss came as a byproduct of a change in both self-perception and the way I saw life. So, I was happy before the weight loss.
I lost weight so that I would be alive to enjoy this happiness longer. Because I was happy, life was worth living and it had purpose. It was not about living until my 90s, but about making the life I have longer than it would have been.
Although the lack of sideways glances my way and being treated with more respect are a relief, weight loss is not the source of my happiness. The most significant improvement to my wellbeing has come from my change in focus to love and hope. I experience great joy from my weight loss because I choose to see it that way. The surgeries to remove excess skin and flesh were a gift to me, not my right. I am extremely grateful to have experienced this and the dramatic difference it made almost overnight. To my mind, I am not a victim to my weight – it has been a part of my journey.
Let’s get real. Life is tough for all of us in varying ways. People suffer through all sorts of problems. Some see beauty in their life, despite their losses. Others resent their experiences, believing they have a right to be rescued.
There is no one coming to rescue us. In short, if you want a good life, you must choose to have one. I lived the first 35 years of my life in mud, expecting someone to rescue me. It was not until I chose to have a good life that my health improved. Reduced stress and better lifestyle choices were the result of this decision. And this has meant massive weight loss for me.
These things do not come easy, but they are worth the effort. Message me if you want to chat.
In love, Jenny
My book, Death by Chocolate Cake - My Journey through Obesity with Love, is now available as an audio book.
You can get your copy from Amazon.
In love, Jenny
Dreamy and I have just returned from a few days away. We stayed with a close friend in the Adelaide Hills, South Australia. While away, we walked different trails, went for coffees and puppachinos and caught up with family and friends.
Often, going away is a catalyst for me to heal and change. Being in a different environment with different relationships gives me a different perspective of life. I have a close relationship with my friend, and we share our thoughts freely. We have been there for each other through our toughest times. She stood beside me as I worked my way out of an emotional and physical hole. Her belief in me has kept me sane many times.
While away, I caught up with another close friend with whom I attended university almost 40 years ago. At that time, I was still living with my family. Our conversation picked up where we had left it, as it does every time we speak. We discussed where our lives had been and our thoughts and feelings about it all. I value these friendships. Although I have not always been the kindest friend, they have stood by me, and vice-versa.
Taking a short break from our reality can be a reset. We tend to get caught in our world and trapped in unhealthy thought patterns. This trip refreshed my mind and soul, it gave me a different way of seeing my experiences, and I was open to see them differently. As I shared with my friends while outside of my normal world, I was able to take on a fresh perspective.
Sometimes, we need to take time from our busy life to connect with those who know us best. We need to hear the voices of those who love us to reassure our heart that we are okay. We need to walk in different places, feel a different atmosphere and soak it all in. Because sometimes we need to reset.
Do you need to reset? Do you need to see life in a fresh way? Message me if you want to chat.
In love, Jenny
