Freedom is the right to act, think and speak as we want. When we are free, we are not slaves for others, nor are we imprisoned by them. There have been many times when I have not experienced freedom. In my early years I was imprisoned by my own guilt and chose to be with people who used this to manipulate me. Growing up with guilt I was drawn to those who used it to get what they wanted from me. In my adult life, I have often chosen to relate, work and spend time with those who want to control. Why is this so?
Choosing freedom throws us into unfamiliar territory. Freedom requires us to choose away from those things which hold us back from living our authentic life. It requires us to take risks. We must make our own choices and be responsible for whatever the consequence. Repeating what we have done in the past provides us with a false sense of security, although it may not be safe to repeat the behaviour.
For many years I allowed myself to be beaten down by others, chose to eat for comfort and live a sedentary life. This felt safe as that was the way I grew up. I could always fall back into blaming others for my misery, after all, I was doing what I had been taught. I was not happy or healthy and it meant the risk of health issues earlier in my life. Then, instead of blaming my parents and genetics for my health outcomes I chose to change my lifestyle. There were consequences; I had to face my fears and take responsibility for my life, some relationships failed, and I no longer belonged with those I had found a false sense of security.
Often, we rely on others to make our decisions for us and bow to guilt and fear, but then complain that the outcome is not what we want. Freedom requires us to face our fears and the mindsets we rigidly hold onto. Despite the challenges, freedom is worth the effort.
The joy of being myself and sharing authentically with others far outweighs the losses and pain of facing my own mistakes.
Are you living in freedom? Do you suffer from feelings of chronic guilt and fear?
In love, Jenny
