Great Expectations

In his book, “Great Expectations”, Charles Dickens tells the story of Miss Havisham, a wealthy spinster who was jilted at her wedding. She insisted that she wear her wedding dress for the rest of her life. I wonder how many of us identify with Miss Havisham. We hold on to a promise waiting for it to be fulfilled, in doing so we fail to live our life to its fullest.

Perhaps something painful has happened and you are waiting for it to be fixed. Perhaps you were made a promise and are now waiting for it to be fulfilled. But while you wait, you deny yourself a life, your life. Subconsciously you are holding yourself back as you wait for the outcome you hope for. This is what I have done.

From childhood my siblings and I were promised we would inherit a significant amount of money from my parents’ estate. We knew that if we pleased them, we would receive a greater share. I carried a fear of displeasing my parents into my adulthood. Unfortunately, I disappointed them when I left home, so I could only ever hope for an equal share. Later, I was given some money, but there was always the possibility that more was to come.

I believed this money would make my life happier and that it meant my parents loved me. My fear of displeasing dad prevented me from living my own life. I held back from what I wanted to do and chose a life that would gain his approval. I lived hoping for his approval, putting on hold all that I wanted to do so that I could make dad happy with me.

Eventually I realised that it was ridiculous to put my life on hold. Living life in the present rather than in the future was more important to me than waiting for money. And life has improved greatly for me. As it has turned out dad is now 96 and doing very well for his age. Every now and then, he mentions what remains of his money and how I should be living to get it.

I am so glad I stopped waiting! Are you waiting for something? What is holding you back from living your life? Message me if you would like to chat.

In love, Jenny

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