For a long time, I lived with a victim mentality. I believed I was alone because the world was against me. Everyone else was to blame for my pain. The world had hurt me, and no one understood. I manipulated pity from those closest to me by implying that I had been hurt. To me, this was love.
But thinking this way made my life miserable. To think like a victim is to be one. That is, if we believe that life is working against us then that will be what we experience. Whereas if we see the world as a mostly positive place, we then experience the beauty in life.
I have also been in many situations where my happiness has caused offence to someone with a victim mentality. You see, if we are happy around a victim, they become jealous and try to make us believe that what we have is not so good.
It was difficult getting my head out of this perspective, after all I had lived that way since childhood. I would react to innocent comments and in doing so isolated myself by putting others offside. Constantly lashing out at others led to isolation as they were too afraid to be near me. In this way I reinforced my own loneliness. It was a tough life, but I had made it that way.
Starting my journey out of victimhood resulted in less stress, more control over my eating and my life. I made better decisions for myself which have created for me a healthy and happy life.
How did I get to the place of victimhood? Victims victimise others. From a young age I had been bullied by people who saw themselves as a victim. Then, I became a victim and blamed others just as I had been taught. In unravelling my own trauma, I faced the part I had played in worsening my pain. This discovery led to freedom.
If you are overwhelmed with negative thoughts and feelings, feel free to chat with me about this.
In love, Jenny