Our roles do not define us

Close connection was not something I experienced as a child. Looking back, I can see that we never got to know each other, or at least I felt no one knew me. We related through our roles. My role was the youngest child, the one with the least understanding and maturity, the last to be told and the least significant. Nothing much was asked of me, and my opinion was not sought. I’m not the only youngest child to experience this. My other siblings were given different roles, and this was how we related, everything we said to each other reflected these roles and formed the basis of the strong pecking order in the family.

As a child, it formed my identity as a person. It was the way I fit into my family; it was how I belonged. It wasn’t until I left home and began my journey of self-discovery, that I realised there was much more to me. For the sake of my own integrity, I could no longer maintain what was required to fit in. Breaking out of this was difficult as it affected the relationships within my family.

We are not what we do, nor are we how others define us. Our job, role in our family and friendships are only part of who we are. In life we play many roles, but these can only ever reflect a portion of our whole being. I became an accountant because I enjoy maths. After being employed in the field I discovered that there was more to the role than just playing with numbers. Often those in my profession have a passion for money and the making of it. Sadly, this was not me. I just wanted to play with numbers and use it for the good of others. Hence, I worked for charitable organisations, using my skill in the hope it would help others.

I believe our mission on earth is to discover who we really are and use this to benefit ourselves and world in which we live.

What are your roles? Do you think they are the totality of who you are?

In love, Jenny.

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